Solo runner to group runner

So I used to HATE running with people.  It wasn't that I didn't like people, I was just terrified of running with people.  For so many reasons: I was scared I couldn't keep up, I was scared if I felt the pressure of trying to keep up I'd have a panic attack (panic attacks are a big thing for me when running, its got worse in the last year).  I was scared I'd look silly (I go sooo red when I run).  And if I went a long to a group I felt like a burden if I was the last one to come in.  I used the excuse of being on a schedule, and 'most groups don't match my schedule'. I can't do a 5km that day as I'm meant to be doing 5 miles.

I also saw running as my 'me time' my meditation, I felt free to run, run-walk do whatever I wanted to do, go wherever I wanted to go.  In my own time, my own way.

But I think deep down, I really wanted to meet other runners, and get a bit of community, I wanted to be able to bump into friends at races, I wanted to learn off other people and I knew that running with others helps you to run better.

But running groups annoyed me a little. Runners are lovely, I've rarely met a bad one. But I find many groups to be exclusive against 'slower runners'. I've contacted run groups before who've told me 'No sorry this probably wouldn't suit you'.  To me it reinforces the this picture perfect runner who runs 2 hour marathons, and sadly excludes everyone else, and I'm a bit sad that so many run groups disclude (is that a word) runners who don't paint the picture perfect runner picture, even if they don't mean to (I might be wrong, although I've had a few people say the same to me) but if a slower less confident runner goes to a run group and are they last in, its going to take a hell of a lot of encouragement, or an epic group welcome to go back again, its such a shame.

Isn't running for everyone, no-one should be excluded (oh that's the word I wanted). Or is running only for the fast people, who look the part?

Step in @backpackersclc

A year back (round about the time of my last post) a post popped up on my Instagram about a new run group for those that are usually at the back of the pack, for the Slowbeas.  Ahhh my dream running group. Except being the scaredy cat I am , and being wary of run groups (and perfectly fine thank you running on my own) I chickened out, every single Thursday for about 9 months. I can't remember what actually made it pluck up the courage to go that Thursday in November, but I'm sooo glad I did.  I found a lovely bunch of runners, hugely welcoming, full of laughs, and running my pace, I'd finally found my tribe.  I can't believe it took me 9 months to go.

Going to Backpackers boosted my confidence hugely! Even going just that one time (I didn't just go once, if you need me Thursday nights you know where to find me!)  But even just that first time boosted my confidence hugely,  within a few weeks I found myself going to other events run by BP's umbrella group, Chasing Lights. Events I would never dream of going to before.  Not only that, but I've also gone out with other groups and ran my longest ever 14 miles with the LdnBurgerrun.  That's nuts.  Earlier this year it got to the point earlier this year where I realised all I was doing was group runs, and it took all my effort and courage to go out and run with that annoying person I used to run all the time with last year (solo me). 

Solo run time is still good, still quality time, going my way, my route, but I'm so happy I plucked up the courage to join with others, its made a huge difference to my running, and I wouldn't be without my amazing Thursday tribe!