Forgotten how to run

So after my lazy/rest weekend, Monday I got back out there.  It was disappointing, it was like my legs had forgotten how to run.  I struggled through a 5km, having to stop frequently.  On top of that one of my knees was very very unhappy.  Maybe its affected by the cooler weather, not sure, it was probably the worst pain I've experienced in my training so far.

I'm going to run again tonight, and try to stay disciplined rather than discouraged, but I do feel discouraged, so close to the big day, and after all my months of dedicated training my last run felt like I'd never run before in my life.

Really hoping that I find my umph in the next 10- days (yes just 10

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- Just realised I haven't posted since that 12 miles.  Post the 12 miles, I had my best run ever, a quick 5km (preceded by a warm up and some hills) but that 5km I felt like I was flying, I was fast, had strong legs, it was fab.  Partly I think it might have been my body's way of saying 'ok, I'll play ball just don't make me run 12 miles again'.  I wish my running had been as lovely since.

Early tappering

(Written Sunday 25th)

Last week was a tough one with only one run fitted in. Life has got crazy busy, & has left me quite exhausted. My body always lets me know when I'm over doing it by switching on the nausea button, and that's how this week has been. I didn't not run because of that, rather it was mental exhaustion, I should have just got out & done it rather than dwelling on it. 

I'm just hoping I haven't lost any momentum from my week break, especially two weeks out from the big race.

Fingers crossed. 

Anyway this week I have kept as free as possible with the hope that I can enjoy runs & early nights. 

Memories and Mountains

This weekend I was determined to do 12 miles.  I’ve managed a couple of 10 milers, but I just needed to know I was capable of 12.

I had a vague route planned, which would start with a loop of Hyde park (the half marathon route) then head up to Clapham where I used to live and run.  It was a pretty victorious day.  I got pretty good at running up aound when I was training for my 10k, and now I feel so beyond a 10k I wanted to visit a few memories and experience my old routes in this new state.

After a loop of Hyde Park I made my first memorial journey, Hyde Park corner to Stockwell.  At the start of the year when I tried to get back into running, I used to attempt this route as a bit of a run-commute.  Back then I was struggling so much with running, I could only manage a difficult 3 mins run followed by 1 min walk, all the way, it never seemed to get any easier, I blamed invisible hills, and I was grateful for all the traffic lights and enforced stops.   So yesterday was a triumph sailing effortlessly along that route from start to finish, showing old me I could do it.

Back when I was training for my 10km (at my fittest) there was a road (I say road, it was more of a mountain) off Clapham Common towards Wandsworth Common, it’s a huge dip, so lovely to run down, but there was always the other side to run up. I loved and hated it, but never once managed to run the ups without walking, so I was keen to run this route yesterday to see how far I’d really come.  

Heading to Wandsworth was fine, as in that direction the up wasn’t as steep.  Then after a loop of Wandsworth Common passing the 10 mile mark, I headed back to the Big Dipper, and I’m happy to report I glided up the big up.  I was soooo proud of myself, in fact I think I’m more proud of that, than of doing 12 miles!  That really proves to me how far I’ve come on this running journey, how much my fitness has improved.  I might not be as fast as I was in July 15 (when I completed my 10km in 1.04), but I must be fitter and stronger.

The Clapham Mountain (the pic does not do it justice)

All that said, 12 miles was effing tough!  I think I’m finding my 5/6 milers easier in many ways, so much so that I’m forgetting that it’s still a very long way from 5/6 miles to 13.1 Miles.  I began to flag (mentally mostly) after about 7 miles, at times I almost cried and battled with myself and the why am I doing this argument.  When I did stop a traffic lights, I did feel like I was going to throw up a few times. And when I finished I felt really unwell for a few hours (reminder to me, not to do a long run that leaves me with an hour and half commute home, not good!)  I’m reminded that a half marathon is a big deal!  Am I ready?  I did question myself yesterday, but its too late now, only 4 weeks to go…

The honeymoon is over

(Written Friday 9^th)

I haven’t written for a while, and partly because my blogging is like my running pretty blghh & pretty intermittent at the moment.  I’ve been slacking.  My last may have conveyed a hint of blghh, well that has kind of continued.

I had a weekend off running because I was away, the week leading up to that, I skipped a run (well not technically, I had done three runs that week) but I did intend to squeeze one in before jetting off for the weekend, but quite frankly I couldn’t be bothered a opted for a sleep in instead.  When I came back I diligently got back to it on the Monday but on the Wednesday another heatwave had hit, and I made a new rule, no running in anything above 23 degrees (which will apply again this week, seriously, it’s been the longest summer ever! If I wasn’t training, I bet it would be cold and wet every day!).  But if I’m honest maybe the running honeymoon is over, I’m getting a bit tired of it, I’m less bothered if I miss a run. 

But the problem is getting back to running after missing runs is way harder.  It takes me back to most of this year, when a ‘bad run’ would knock my confidence, and would result in not running for a few weeks, then struggling to get back out there, followed by another bad run and so on, which is partly why I’ve been so strict with my three runs a week regime.  I think the other thing is that I’ve been putting so much pressure on myself to meet my milage, to get faster (not that I am) and spending hours analysing my stats.

So after my weekend off, I was really really nervous about going for a run, in case those 4 days off had resulted in my body forgetting how to run, and returning to it’s June state of not being able to run for 4 minutes, it was a scary thought.

Thankfully though it turned out I could still run and managed a good 5 miles (including hills).

Then Wednesday came and went (in 30 degrees) and without a run.  And Friday run time came.  This time my apathy was different, I’d had a horrible week and I couldn’t face putting pressure on myself to run, I just wanted a pressure free run, so I did something completely different.  I switched off Nike, set my phone timer to 1hr 10 and headed off into the park. There would be no pace pressure, no milage pressure, no stats to look back on after, and beat myself up over,  just run as fast/slow as I wanted to alleviate the stress of the week. As hard as that was (especially when my only friend on Nike is a marathon runner and I’m slowly catching up with her weekly totals) it was just what I needed. It turned out to be an very enjoyable run.  (And, well, I estimated that I did around 6 miles anyway).

And most importantly (although I didn’t feel it fully at the time) in the evening, I felt really good knowing that I got out there and did it!  Well done me.