Emotional Running

Friday 19^th August  5 (emotional) miles (Written on Saturday)

Last night was an emotional run for me, five flying miles, I enjoyed them, didn't stop (except to blow my nose a couple of times). It was good, but what made it emotional was being reminded how far I've come, even in the last few short months. 

I was back in lovely Regent's Park where my training began. 

Back then only in July I committed to running 3 times a week in prep for this half, after flapping about with running attempts all year.  Back then I still could barely run 4 minutes! I was doing the time & milage but punctuated with 1min walks, that was all I could manage. And each minute was tough, longing for Mr Nike to tell me I’d survived another minute. 

As I ran last night I remembered all the agonising struggles at particular parts on the route, even those first 4mins, from the door to the gate of primrose, promising myself every minute through gritted teeth that this first one I would let myself walk two mins.  

Then running past Tiger Territory that path, was pretty but always felt like agony, I would always look for the Tigers to distract myself, but in the back of my head I’d be thinking this is way to far. That was when I tried to change my perspective choosing to be in the minute & love the minute.  But last night I sailed past with ease.

Then there was another spot over by the boat lake, I remember one night (when I was up to running 8 minutes) I did think I was going to die, I collapsed in agony at not breathing (well not physically collapse you know what I mean).  I would question if this would every get better would I every just be able to run, I’d done it before I knew that but it seemed so impossible.  Last night I sailed past that spot about 5km in no stops, there was a BIG smile on my face.

Even just a few weeks ago when I struggled with a terrible that terrible 5km on the outer ring stopping every to catch my breath, beating myself up mentally as to why I just couldn’t manage it.  Last night I sailed past those spots beaming! 

I'm so glad I kept it up & forced myself to run 3x a week, I'm so happy now I've achieved a comfortable run pace, that's what I always wanted, and there I was last night sailing through Regent's Park.  

There are countless more spots in Regent's Park where a battle has taken place for me & Friday I sailed past them all. I was so grateful & felt a little emotional to remember them all.  You may have seen me there on Friday, I was the one with a big smile on my face & a tear in my eye. 

Incidentally, breaking free from the run walk thing was a pure mental thing, I first did it on that beach run I managed to run 2 miles before a rest walk (which wasn’t even a minute as by then I didn’t have the counter).  It was only my freestyling night when I ran without the help of Mr Nike, that I decided to run for as long as I could before feeling the need to stop, and that happened to be just under 6km.

Incidentally (part 2) some of those most strugglesome runs, (the 5km a few weeks ago, and my river run) I now realise these occurred on really hot days, I’m now mindful of that, I chose to run when it is cooler. I’m learning!!